mental health
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This week I cried over running shoes
Wednesday night, hours after J told me that he was going to handle the first day of school (only after I assured him that it would be a stupid idea for his principals to have a fire drill on the first day of school), I sat in bed and cried over his running shoes. “His pronation is worse in those shoes,” I bawled to Steve, “he’s had them only four days and he looks like he’s going to sprain his ankles he’s wobbling so much in them. I know if we don’t get his shoes fixed right now, he’s going to get injured, and he’ll only be able to run…
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Today
I navigated today with no plan. That’s not how I roll. Autism requires planning. Lots of planning. And backup planning. Plans B, C, and D are all necessary requirements for the survival of both parties (mom and child) to make it through the day. But today, I intentionally decided to have no plan. I decided we would navigate the first day of summer holidays by just “feeling out” how the summer is going to go. Yes, both kids had the first day of their camps today. J had a visual therapy appointment. But I planned nothing for the in between times. I planned nothing for the evening. And that’s not…
- anxiety, autism, Early Intervention, Education, high school, mental health, middle school, modifications, special education
Violence in the Classroom: From an Autism Mom’s Point of View
Violence in the classroom has become a really big issue. In Fargo, it’s been in the paper and on the news. And it’s something that’s been happening across the country. Here’s a news clip from a Utah TV station: This is a topic I have really struggled with over the last few years. I have a son who sometimes does those things. I have a daughter who witnesses those things in her classroom or in the hallway. I have teacher friends. My mum was a teacher. I’m a teacher (I’ve taught at the university level as an adjunct and at the preschool, elementary, middle, and high school levels as a…
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Sometimes you don’t deserve a Gatorade
When I saw J writing the word “unicorn” over and over in the air as he ran each lap of his 1600 m race last week I wasn’t happy. I know most spectators didn’t catch J’s “air cursive,” but Steve and I sure did. What most spectators saw was J smiling and laughing each time he rounded the track. It looked like he was having a good time. And that was the problem. J was having a good time–not being a part of the race. I’m sure if anyone heard me chew out J post-race and tell him he didn’t earn his Gatorade (which he ALWAYS does after a race)…
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#mood
Give me a bag of donuts like the one little W is holding and I might make it a few more weeks in this weather. I’ve been trying really hard–really really hard–not to complain about these last few weeks of winter. One of my pet peeves is when people complain about cold weather. Maybe it’s the Canadian in me but I find it slightly offensive when people say, “I hate winter. I could never live in a cold place.” One of my biggest pet peeves is when we’re visiting friends or family outside of North Dakota and people find out we’re from Fargo and the first thing they say is,…
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Golden Students
Two weeks ago, W and I were sitting at the kitchen table, talking through her AP Human Geography Packet answers. She’s been struggling to keep her grades up in that class, so Steve and I have been doing a little more intervention. We’ve been monitoring her homework in that class. We never, ever monitor her homework. But this is a “college” class, and will count for “college credit” if she passes the AP exam. It will also permanently affect her transcript when she applies for college, so we decided we better see what’s going on. Our first strategy? having her read her homework responses to us and talking through them…
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Let’s talk “neurotypical” stress
This time of year is a stressful time of year. And right now I’m not talking about autism stress. Steve and I have been talking about the next few weeks and the things that are stressing us out. It’s funny. As “neurotypicals” I find that we talk about stress in a very different way than when we talk about J’s stress. We talk about it in the abstract. It’s something to dance around or endure. We use vague words like “busy” or “responsibilities” or “I’m just stressed out.” And as a writer, I feel like I should know better. I should be using my words better, because when I describe…
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Navel Strings
I am not a helicopter mother by choice. I really, really believe that it’s healthy for kids (and parents) to have their space. Kids need to step out in the world on their own, get their hands dirty, make mistakes, learn by trial and error. It’s essential in developing self esteem, innovation, confidence, social skills, negotiation skills and more. Of course parents should be there in guiding kids away from harmful dangers, enhancing moments of learning and growth, but I really feel that kids learn best when they feel trusted–trusted to succeed and trusted to make mistakes. I just can’t do that with J. There are so many strings attached with…
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Sabre-toothed Tigers
I’ve debated over and over again how to talk to my kids about school shootings. I’ve had short, infrequent, conversations with my daughter, who at this point, is totally unfazed by them. She tells me that she knows what to do–hide in place, fight back, almost with a defiant composure. She’s pretty confident in her self-preservation skills. I let her keep that confidence, even though, as demonstrated by February 14th’s events, when a school follows these procedures to a T, 17 people still die. Dozens are injured. I don’t tell her the emperor has no clothes. False confidence is better than no faith. And how do we talk to my…
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Looking backward, looking forward
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, New Year, and holiday! It’s crazy how fast it’s flown by for our family. Years ago, I would be shouting off the rooftops how much I wanted the kids to be back at school, but over the last couple of years, I really need our time together as a family. We need to play together, because my kids are at the age that they don’t have time to play anymore. And we need the time to catch up on that academic stuff (we are ALWAYS learning in this house), especially since this is the first year of high school and there are FINALS…
