The Messy Art of Parenting Autism

Adventures with autism, musings on parenting, and seeing the world in a new way

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  • 18+,  autism,  IEP,  learning strategies,  special education,  strategies

    The Post High School IEP

    November 8, 2021 /

    A few weeks ago we sat down with J’s new team to discuss his IEP. I had thought long and hard for weeks what we wanted J’s new goals to look like, but I couldn’t come up with anything. For the last 12 years J’s IEP has been some iteration of getting J to stay and focus in a classroom or how to accommodate class and homework assignments. But now J’s classroom no longer looks like an academic one. And to be honest, I’m still learning myself what his new school situation looks like, and to be honest, I’m kind of IEPed out. I’m all out of ideas. We were…

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    A Glossary of Agencies and Services

    December 6, 2021

    Determined as the Universe

    January 4, 2022

    New Stories

    September 14, 2021
  • autism,  high school,  learning strategies,  milestones,  modifications,  motherhood,  teen years

    “Here at the end of all things”

    June 21, 2021 /

    Two weeks ago, J graduated high school. It still feels pretty surreal–amplified by a pretty surreal year and a half. I’m so grateful that you’ve been here with us on this journey as we find ourselves “here at the end of all things.” I can still remember sitting Dr. Hoffman’s office in Overland Park, Kansas thirteen years ago. We were just two months from moving to Fargo. J had already undergone 2 rigorous assessments (one at the Child and Family services clinic at KU in Lawrence Kansas, one at the KU med center in Kansas City), and although we knew and agreed with J’s autism diagnosis from the two prior…

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    Navel Strings

    March 5, 2018

    Temple Grandin Still Hates Algebra

    January 28, 2019

    J won XC

    October 12, 2020
  • autism,  Education,  family,  IEP,  learning strategies

    The Autism Influence

    February 18, 2019 /

    It’s sometimes hard for me to separate the autism influence from our lives outside of autism. It always takes some shape or form in my writing. I write about autism on a weekly basis on this blog. Even though my current novel takes place in World War II and has nothing to do with autism, there’s still a character in there who struggles with mental health difficulties and I’m constantly reflecting on our own experiences to help me understand my character’s motivations better. That autism influence is always in the back of my mind. Steve has his own version of the autism influence too, and for him it started with…

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    When Family Can Help You Settle Your Glitter

    July 8, 2015

    The helpers

    October 30, 2017

    The blessing and curse of a long weekend

    October 23, 2017
  • anxiety,  autism,  high school,  learning strategies

    Temple Grandin Still Hates Algebra

    January 28, 2019 /

    Temple Grandin absolutely hates Algebra. I knew that already–she had mentioned it during her 2013 lecture here in Fargo–and six years later, in Crookston, Minnesota, she said it again. Multiple times. In a college gymnasium–GYMNASIUM–full of people. Overhead lights off. Stage spotlight on. People restless trying to find a comfortable position in the wooden bleachers. A service dog on the basketball court pacing around the floor. The exit doors wide open with people still trickling in and out throughout the lecture. I was astounded. This couldn’t have been a worse venue for sensory overload for an individual with autism. It was a venue in stark contrast to the ones I…

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    Autism is my rabbit hole

    August 21, 2017

    XC boys are the best

    October 3, 2016

    Prognosis

    March 2, 2020
  • autism,  high school,  home strategies,  learning strategies,  math,  sensory processing

    My Black is Your Navy

    November 5, 2018 /

    For as long as I can remember, my dad has struggled with colour.  I remember him rushing out the door to get to work, asking my mom one last time, “is this shirt blue or grey?’ or “does this shirt match this tie?” There were a lot of questions about socks too. “Are these socks black or navy?” and the guaranteed followup question: “Are you sure they’re navy? They look black to me.” My dad is red green colourblind, but he also has a hard time sorting out cool greens and light greys; light blues and light greys, light pink and light greys, brown and greens.  When he was dating…

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    Firsts are hard: Part 1

    August 29, 2016

    You Just Never Know

    April 9, 2018

    Back in the saddle

    September 4, 2017
  • autism,  cross-country,  learning strategies,  special education,  strategies

    Using the Autism Toolbox to Make XC a Little Easier

    September 24, 2018 /

    J is the boy in the black and gold Brooks. Arms drooped around his neighbours’ backs. Pieces of masking tape bound around his fingers. The droopy arms and masking tape scream to me “autism,” although they probably don’t to you. I think that’s one of the funny things about autism. I’m always super aware of all the quirky or socially “different” parts of J that I don’t think a lot of people think twice about. J has gotten really good over the last couple of season of “looking like a XC runner.” J goes to practice all by himself now. J takes the bus to meets on his own. J…

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    To Be J.B.

    December 10, 2018

    Just relax and shake out

    August 31, 2020

    An Unexpected Week

    February 4, 2019
  • autism,  high school,  home strategies,  learning strategies,  reading comprehension

    A Funny Thing Happened When We Gave J an iPhone 4

    August 14, 2018 /

    I think it’s one of the biggest ironies of my life that I am obsessed with language, communication, and literature and those three things are the biggest things my son struggles with. I’ve loved language as long as I can remember. I remember staring at my Cheerios box as a kindergartner, figuring out that gratuit next to the picture of a key chain meant that something free was inside, that the word pamplemousse on the juice container meant grapefruit, and being absolutely thrilled to finally start learning French at school in grade 4. The only math I liked was when had to solve math facts in order to decode messages…

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    The Uneaten Bowl of Spaghettios

    January 27, 2020

    J is now 17

    October 7, 2019

    Grown up lessons

    March 20, 2017
  • autism,  Education,  helps,  high school,  home strategies,  learning strategies,  math,  sensory processing,  special education,  strategies

    Two Incredible Surprises that Emerged from Finals Week

    January 15, 2018 /

    Like all things autism, the strategies for finals week were thought out long in advance. Back in December, J’s teachers sent home various forms of “study guides” the last few days before break so we could get a head start on studying for January finals, and we took FULL advantage of that. Over the break, J and I read all the short stories again. I made DOZENS of flash cards for English vocab, Foods vocab. I made picture cards for the short stories and we worked on those every single day of the break. No rest for the wicked, I guess. When J returned after the break, J’s special ed…

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    Your best is the best

    August 14, 2017

    The Post High School IEP

    November 8, 2021

    Support Squad

    October 15, 2018
  • autism,  helps,  high school,  learning strategies,  motherhood,  reading,  reading comprehension,  teen years

    J and the Scarlet Ibis

    January 8, 2018 /

    Once there was a boy who was born sick with disabilities. Nobody thought the boy would live, but he did. He had physical disabilities and he had intellectual disabilities. Nobody thought he would walk, but his brother taught him how to walk. The disabled boy learned how to speak. He was smart. His brother would take him to the swamp near their house and there the brother had plans on how to teach the disabled boy how to run, and swim, and do all sorts of physical things kids his age did. The brother planned to do all of these things before the disabled boy went to school. The disabled…

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    The French onion soup incident

    April 3, 2017

    Temple Grandin Still Hates Algebra

    January 28, 2019

    The Lindenwood meet

    September 12, 2016
  • autism,  Education,  handwriting,  helps,  high school,  home strategies,  learning strategies,  math,  modifications,  special education,  study skills

    When You’re Not a Hermione Granger Student

    September 18, 2017 /

    The fact that one of my kids needs accommodations or modifications for homework and tests is still a hard concept for me. I was the Hermione Granger student. I sat in the front of the class. I did all the questions on every assignment. I got uber nervous–sick to my stomach sometimes–over getting tests back because I needed at least a 90% to feel good about myself. Not that I always got an “A” on everything. But if I didn’t, I felt like I had to do some major re-evaluations about my life. And then I have J. J is a kid that needs all of the accommodations and modifications.…

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    There’s no place like home

    July 24, 2017

    iPhone notes

    July 5, 2016

    Reflections on choices

    February 6, 2017
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