high school
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This Kid
While going through the MFA program, I wrote about J a lot. J wasn’t my thesis, but he was the topic of my Creative Nonfiction classes. He was eight years old at the time, and I had a lot of subject matter to write about. I wrote about the quirkiness of autism, the feelings of inadequacy I felt being his mother, the small victories we had, the really puzzling aspects of autism to which I had no answers. I didn’t realize it, but often I would refer to J as “that kid, this kid, or the kid.” Someone in workshop picked up on my word choice and asked me, “why…
- autism, Education, family, high school, IEP, milestones, motherhood, siblings and autism, teen years
The four year plan
W is the second child in our family, so it’s really rare (as a parent) to experience something that I haven’t experienced with J. In grade 3, J’s whole class made gingerbread houses before winter break, so I knew that when W hit grade 3, she’d be doing gingerbread houses too. When J started touring with the elementary school choir at the mall and rest homes, I knew when W got to that age, she’d be doing it too. When J graduated from elementary school in a “classic” coming of age ceremony with a field trip to the zoo, followed by a graduation slideshow with cake and lemonade, I knew…
- autism, Education, helps, high school, home strategies, learning strategies, math, sensory processing, special education, strategies
Two Incredible Surprises that Emerged from Finals Week
Like all things autism, the strategies for finals week were thought out long in advance. Back in December, J’s teachers sent home various forms of “study guides” the last few days before break so we could get a head start on studying for January finals, and we took FULL advantage of that. Over the break, J and I read all the short stories again. I made DOZENS of flash cards for English vocab, Foods vocab. I made picture cards for the short stories and we worked on those every single day of the break. No rest for the wicked, I guess. When J returned after the break, J’s special ed…
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No, he’s not like Sheldon, Max, or Sam
Still behind, but still moving forward
2020
- autism, helps, high school, learning strategies, motherhood, reading, reading comprehension, teen years
J and the Scarlet Ibis
Once there was a boy who was born sick with disabilities. Nobody thought the boy would live, but he did. He had physical disabilities and he had intellectual disabilities. Nobody thought he would walk, but his brother taught him how to walk. The disabled boy learned how to speak. He was smart. His brother would take him to the swamp near their house and there the brother had plans on how to teach the disabled boy how to run, and swim, and do all sorts of physical things kids his age did. The brother planned to do all of these things before the disabled boy went to school. The disabled…
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Looking backward, looking forward
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, New Year, and holiday! It’s crazy how fast it’s flown by for our family. Years ago, I would be shouting off the rooftops how much I wanted the kids to be back at school, but over the last couple of years, I really need our time together as a family. We need to play together, because my kids are at the age that they don’t have time to play anymore. And we need the time to catch up on that academic stuff (we are ALWAYS learning in this house), especially since this is the first year of high school and there are FINALS…
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Some weeks…
Funny not funny story. Last week and a half has been a little rough. And as I started to write this blog post, I started thinking, hey…last year–at this exact very time–was rough. Last year J had an epic meltdown the day after election day. In fact, he got kicked out of school and I had to bring him home early. And then I remembered, hey…when did I write that post about being in the mid-semester slump? 2 years ago at around this exact time. Guess what happened this week? any guesses? J got kicked out of school for behaviour this Thursday. At this point, I’ve determined he’s an unpredictable predictable…
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Reinventing Halloween
Last year was J’s last year as a trick-or-treater. It was kind of a rough realization, at least for me, because after all the years of J struggling with Halloween (because of his autism), all of those years to try to get him to learn all of the social rules and nuances of going to a stranger’s house and saying a random, empty phrase (who ever does a trick for their candy?–and since when is it socially acceptable for a kid to demand candy from a stranger?), all those years of learning that some strangers will let you pick out of the bowl and others will think you’re rude if…
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The helpers
Every time there’s some sort of tragedy or catastrophe happening in the world, I see that Mr. Rodgers meme pop up on the Internet. I’m sure you’ve seen it too: Mr. Rogers in a shirt and tie, with his classic Mr. Rodgers sweater and smile with the words: “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” It’s got me thinking that we must be living in some sort of catastrophic lifestyle, because our family is the recipient of great generosity from so many helpers every single…
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The blessing and curse of a long weekend
Four days, a birthday party, a grandma in town, a walk in the woods, and a final XC meet. It’s been a busy fall break. I worry about weekends like this and trying to make sure the balance for J is right in all of it. Sometimes we get it wrong. Sometimes we get it right. I think this time we mostly got it right. I think we assume teenagers are a lot like us adults, that they can just go with the flow and handle that balance of weaving between their busy lives of work (homework in their case), extracurricular, and downtime in a fair and balanced way. I…
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Going beyond self regulation
Now that J’s conquered a lot of these “keeping it together” challenges, I’m starting to see the other challenges that have been eclipsed by the mental and behavioural ones. J doesn’t know how to do things on his own, even when he’s “checked in” and running a good effort. All of his life, he’s had someone beside him telling him what to do or how to push through something and through this season of XC, I’ve seen these problems come to the forefront because he’s managing himself so well on his own.
