autism,  motherhood,  teen years,  track

Growth Spurts and that Growing Village

Sometimes a lot of good things happen all at the same time. This week was one of those weeks.

Monday–Track Meet #1:

  • J PRd the heck out of his mile: By almost 30 seconds! J’s mile time was 7:03. Last year’s PR for that same event? 7:32. When J first started this whole XC/Track business? 13 min miles. That’s growth, folks!
  • Running with a stronger pack: Monday’s meet was a really small meet (3 schools) which meant that there was going to be only 1 heat for the 1600m. I was super nervous about this, because that meant he was going to be running with the fast kids. Yes, he got lapped, but he still ran the heck out of it because running alongside those fast kids pushed him to be faster and better. This race reminded me why special education integration–in all aspects–is SO important for J. He has great peers who push him and bring out the best in him.
  • Introducing kids to autism: Before his race, J started chatting it up with all the kids about his autism fixations (which drives me ABSOLUTELY CRAZY, because the kid can have–and does have–normal conversations at home). J’s team knows how to kind of roll with it, but a lot of times other kids who don’t know J (or the fact that he has autism) don’t. One kid from Shanley high school, just rolled with it. And it was fantastic.

Wednesday: The phone call from the Principal:

  • Everything was going to be fine: That’s what J’s special ed teacher and I texted each other when she let me know that she wasn’t going to be at school on Wednesday. And up until 3:10, it was going great. And then I go a phone call from the Principal. J wanted to talk to me. He needed to come home–NOW.
  • Great coaching from his para: Right after 7th period, J started having a panic attack and said he couldn’t go to PE (which is strange, because he loves that class). When J showed indications that this really was a panic attack and not just a “behavioual/I want to be a punk” thing, she brought him into the principal’s office right away (that was the contingency plan since his special ed teacher was out for the day). That decision right there helped J succeed in a big way.
  • J was able to manage his emotions throughout the anxiety attack: Huge growth right there. J wanted the principal to call me so he could ask (tell) me that he needed to come home. We weren’t able to “talk him off the cliff” over the phone, so I ended up going to the school (1/2 hr before pick up) to bring him home. He was still a little agitated, and finally we figured out why he was so stressed (always worried about that dang fire drill). He came with me to pick up W after school, and we headed back to his school for track practice. And he managed to stay in control the whole time even though his anxiety was through the roof.
Last week we went to South High school to watch Les Miserables! The community of Fargo is so good at going out and supporting high school events-such a great turnout! I love community love, and Fargo’s got a ton of it.

Thursday:Track Meet #2:

  • Welcome to the village: Thursday’s track meet was super cold and windy, and since J ran the 800 m event that day, we had hours and hours of waiting. During that time, one super kind man from Shanley High School started talking to us (Shanley was hosting the meet). He knew that J was running the 800 m that day, recognized that it was going to be a very long wait, and let us know that if we needed anything to make things go smoother to just ask one of the Shanley people at concessions. WOW. I was so overwhelmed by his kindness. I’m not sure how much he knew about our situation, but the kindness, support, and outreach was amazing. Seriously, every autism parent’s wish come true right there.
  • More points for Shanley: While J was patiently waiting for his event (can I say how far he’s come with patience?) the Shanley boy from Monday’s meet came up to J and asked him how his day was going, what race he was running, and wished him luck. Once again WOW. As a special needs mom, I’m so grateful for that boy’s kindness. It’s hard sometimes to communicate and make a connection with J, especially if those meetings are brief and sporadic, yet that young man from another high school reached out and tried anyways. The best part? J totally lit up when he talked to him. I just loved how two people from a different high school reached out in their own ways to interact with J. Love the autism love from the community outside of our little immediate one!
  • Growing independence: I’m really trying hard to let J manage himself through the first call/second call/line up on the track process. I stuck around for the second call because there were a ton of schools at this meet, they were running other events at the same time as the J’s call, and announcements were being made over the loudspeakers. I’ve never seen such laser focus from J. He knew the routine (even though it’s slightly different every time). 1st heat kids were called, 2nd heat kids were called. Finally his heat was called and he heard his name (awesome!!!) stepped up to get his number stickers, AND REMEMBERED WHAT LANE HE WAS IN! 5th time doing this, and he’s figured it out!!!!
  • The team, as always, is amazing: I love how his teammates watch and cheer him on (even if they just finished their race two heats ahead of him).

Sometimes this autism journey can be a real struggle. And sometimes it’s the most rewarding experience.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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