autism
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The Restaurant Deal
Duane’s was supposed to be a reward for anxiety management this week. Since middle school, we’ve started this (unstructured) reward system for J to help him manage his behaviour. I say unstructured because it doesn’t involve a chart or points. There’s no consistent requirement for the amount of good behaviour days to earn this reward. It’s pretty much a carrot on a stick. Bribe really. It goes sort of like this: “J, if you can handle your behaviour and anxiety for the week, we can go to a restaurant of your choice. J, if you can handle your behaviour for the next two days, we can go to a restaurant…
- autism, Education, family, high school, IEP, milestones, motherhood, siblings and autism, teen years
The four year plan
W is the second child in our family, so it’s really rare (as a parent) to experience something that I haven’t experienced with J. In grade 3, J’s whole class made gingerbread houses before winter break, so I knew that when W hit grade 3, she’d be doing gingerbread houses too. When J started touring with the elementary school choir at the mall and rest homes, I knew when W got to that age, she’d be doing it too. When J graduated from elementary school in a “classic” coming of age ceremony with a field trip to the zoo, followed by a graduation slideshow with cake and lemonade, I knew…
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Mom material (and confessions of being an early stay-at-home mom)
I think it was about one month after J was born that I realized I wasn’t really mom material. J was born two months after I graduated from university, and I thought I was pretty qualified for the job. Four years of post-secondary education should be pretty helpful in raising another human, right? I was young, sure, but I had babysat other people’s little humans since I was twelve, so I knew how to entertain toddlers and feed and change babies. This wasn’t rocket science. I knew I would be functioning on mere hours of sleep those first few months, so when J came, and I was up all hours…
- autism, Education, helps, high school, home strategies, learning strategies, math, sensory processing, special education, strategies
Two Incredible Surprises that Emerged from Finals Week
Like all things autism, the strategies for finals week were thought out long in advance. Back in December, J’s teachers sent home various forms of “study guides” the last few days before break so we could get a head start on studying for January finals, and we took FULL advantage of that. Over the break, J and I read all the short stories again. I made DOZENS of flash cards for English vocab, Foods vocab. I made picture cards for the short stories and we worked on those every single day of the break. No rest for the wicked, I guess. When J returned after the break, J’s special ed…
- autism, helps, high school, learning strategies, motherhood, reading, reading comprehension, teen years
J and the Scarlet Ibis
Once there was a boy who was born sick with disabilities. Nobody thought the boy would live, but he did. He had physical disabilities and he had intellectual disabilities. Nobody thought he would walk, but his brother taught him how to walk. The disabled boy learned how to speak. He was smart. His brother would take him to the swamp near their house and there the brother had plans on how to teach the disabled boy how to run, and swim, and do all sorts of physical things kids his age did. The brother planned to do all of these things before the disabled boy went to school. The disabled…
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Looking backward, looking forward
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, New Year, and holiday! It’s crazy how fast it’s flown by for our family. Years ago, I would be shouting off the rooftops how much I wanted the kids to be back at school, but over the last couple of years, I really need our time together as a family. We need to play together, because my kids are at the age that they don’t have time to play anymore. And we need the time to catch up on that academic stuff (we are ALWAYS learning in this house), especially since this is the first year of high school and there are FINALS…
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The Sound of Music
After the choir concert Thursday night, it was J’s special education teacher that reminded us how far J has come. I needed that reminder, because I came out of that auditorium with a knot of embarrassment in my stomach. I wanted to pull J aside, scold for chewing his mouth raw while standing on stage while the rest of his peers sang all the songs he’d practiced at home and sang with such gusto. I wanted to scold him on the way home in the car for suddenly getting obsessed with his hair onstage, picking at it and combing it with his fingers while the rest of the group stood…
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Real Life Instagram
W is the kid that doesn’t want to miss out on anything. She’s a feisty, spunky, little fighter. She’s competitive, she hates losing or getting bad marks in school. She’s an equal opportunist–that goes from anything like women’s right to making sure everyone in the has the exact same amount cinnamon rolls, slice of cake, etc. (Those cinnamon rolls or slices of cake also have to be exactly equal in size, because if someone gets a slightly bigger share, W’s quick to point it out.) I really can’t tell if she’s naturally inclined to be that way, or it’s her birth circumstances–being the second child (and being the second child…
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Triskaidekaphobia
At a very young age we’re taught about the significance of certain symbols around us. We expose preschoolers to the alphabet by focusing on the first letter in their name (S was my favourite letter for a really long time as a kid). We teach toddlers about numbers by focusing on their age. When you ask a toddler “how old are you?” that little baby face–that doesn’t know anything about quantity or numbers–will proudly offer a few fingers to you and reply, “I’m three.” We teach kids that letters and numbers have personal associations before they have actual meaning. When I was little, I didn’t care if an “S” said…
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The “holiday” thing
I’m not very good at the “holiday” thing. Autism doesn’t allow me to take many holidays. If I’m going to take a break from life (for a few hours or days) the number one requirement has to be that I’m by myself. Maybe with another adult like Steve or a good friend. Far away from home. With no kids. Family holidays are never holidays for parents—moms especially. Family holidays for autism families are never, NEVER, holidays for anyone—parents or kids. A lot of times you’re in a place away from home, with lots of other people who are unfamiliar with your needs or schedule, who are all off of their…
