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Going beyond self regulation
Now that J’s conquered a lot of these “keeping it together” challenges, I’m starting to see the other challenges that have been eclipsed by the mental and behavioural ones. J doesn’t know how to do things on his own, even when he’s “checked in” and running a good effort. All of his life, he’s had someone beside him telling him what to do or how to push through something and through this season of XC, I’ve seen these problems come to the forefront because he’s managing himself so well on his own.
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Let’s talk autism and puberty
This is me in grade 9. In the throws of puberty I didn’t know how awkward I really was and so that probably explains why I was somehow still confident enough to like myself (most of the time). I had no fashion sense. I had glasses, although I only wore them when I absolutely had to because those things definitely made me feel ugly. I didn’t wear makeup. In fact it was the end of grade 10 when my mom suggested to me that I might enjoy a makeover at Merle Norman. Puberty has got to be the most awful, emotionally and physically, confusing time in which everyone on the…
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Deception, Manipulation, and Bribery
Willmar. We’ve avoided talking about this race all season. When J first saw the race schedule for the year, he immediately had a meltdown when he saw Willmar, MN listed. “I’m not going there! I am NOT running in Willmar!” The anxiety runs strong in this one. I knew what this full-on panic attack in my living room was about–or at least I had a hunch. He couldn’t articulate it exactly to me–he was that worked up–but I knew it had to do with a number phobia. Specifically an exit number or mile marker. J has catalogued every exit number in every single state we’ve driven through and locked that…
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No, he’s not like Sheldon, Max, or Sam
In some ways, I think immigrating to the United States as a 16 years old prepared for being a parent of a child with autism. Being an immigrant was one of the hardest adjustments of my life. I had a complete identity crisis. I didn’t know where I fit in at my new school and home and I felt so different from everyone else. Suddenly, I was living in a place where people didn’t have the same background or shared cultural experiences as me (you might be thinking “Canadians are practically Americans though”–and there are some similarities. But they’re a lot of differences) and I missed those little comforts like…
- autism, Education, handwriting, helps, high school, home strategies, learning strategies, math, modifications, special education, study skills
When You’re Not a Hermione Granger Student
The fact that one of my kids needs accommodations or modifications for homework and tests is still a hard concept for me. I was the Hermione Granger student. I sat in the front of the class. I did all the questions on every assignment. I got uber nervous–sick to my stomach sometimes–over getting tests back because I needed at least a 90% to feel good about myself. Not that I always got an “A” on everything. But if I didn’t, I felt like I had to do some major re-evaluations about my life. And then I have J. J is a kid that needs all of the accommodations and modifications.…
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Glitches vs Emergencies
When the week started, I knew what this post was going to be about. It was going to be about the unexpected things–things for which J has a hard time deciphering the best appropriate reaction. Because of J’s severe anxiety, his brain registers all “unexpected and disruptive things” as something worthy of an emergency type response (aka meltdown). Last week I wrote about how that gets better over time–and it definitely has. But this week had some unexpected and disruptive elements to it that J didn’t appreciate, (and didn’t always respond to in the best way). Still, he’s had worse responses, and we did finish the week with some…
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Back in the saddle
Our first full week of school is sandwiched between a two day week and a three day week. It used to drive my crazy–this short start, full start, short start schedule. Why couldn’t we just start the school year after Labour Day, like our friends across the river in Minnesota? When J was younger, the spotty school days at the beginning of the year would mess with his poor little routine-seeking autism/anxiety nervous brain. Having just a taste of the new routine only for it to be taken away again for a few days, only then to have a full week, and then a short week when transitions were hard…
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One year later
This is where we are, one year later. J is into the first five minutes into his first XC race for the season. He’s in a good mood. Minutes before the race I remind him that he needs to run as fast as he can (which I know he doesn’t know what that is yet) to keep up with the pack. Because we all know it’s no fun to start a race from behind. And although he’s near the back of the pack, seconds after the gun goes off, he’s not trailing the pack like he has done every other race he’s run. He sticks with the pack, and as…
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Autism is my rabbit hole
My cousin’s wedding couldn’t have come at a better time. There are these moments, as an autism mom, where I need to just leave. I need to leave Steve, W, and J. I need to leave the high levels of stress (akin to cortisol levels of combat soldiers) that raising an autistic teen triggers and go far away because I need to remember who I am again. Autism is my Wonderland rabbit hole. I’ve talked to my sister-in-law about this before (she also has a kid with autism) and she has the same sentiments. Unlike other forms of disability, there’s no known “threshold” for kids with autism. No one knows what…
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Your best is the best
When we came back from our family trip back in July, J was struggling to get back into his running grove. It wasn’t that J didn’t want to run. The runs were just hard. Some of those summer running practices near the end of July were rough. J’s body was physically fine. His legs were strong, his lungs were strong, and he wasn’t battling any injuries. But running is one of those things that if you miss too many workouts it takes a few workouts until you feel like you’re back to where you were, and being inconsistent (and even missing) morning runs on our two week holiday set J…
