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Looking backward, looking forward
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, New Year, and holiday! It’s crazy how fast it’s flown by for our family. Years ago, I would be shouting off the rooftops how much I wanted the kids to be back at school, but over the last couple of years, I really need our time together as a family. We need to play together, because my kids are at the age that they don’t have time to play anymore. And we need the time to catch up on that academic stuff (we are ALWAYS learning in this house), especially since this is the first year of high school and there are FINALS…
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The Sound of Music
After the choir concert Thursday night, it was J’s special education teacher that reminded us how far J has come. I needed that reminder, because I came out of that auditorium with a knot of embarrassment in my stomach. I wanted to pull J aside, scold for chewing his mouth raw while standing on stage while the rest of his peers sang all the songs he’d practiced at home and sang with such gusto. I wanted to scold him on the way home in the car for suddenly getting obsessed with his hair onstage, picking at it and combing it with his fingers while the rest of the group stood…
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Real Life Instagram
W is the kid that doesn’t want to miss out on anything. She’s a feisty, spunky, little fighter. She’s competitive, she hates losing or getting bad marks in school. She’s an equal opportunist–that goes from anything like women’s right to making sure everyone in the has the exact same amount cinnamon rolls, slice of cake, etc. (Those cinnamon rolls or slices of cake also have to be exactly equal in size, because if someone gets a slightly bigger share, W’s quick to point it out.) I really can’t tell if she’s naturally inclined to be that way, or it’s her birth circumstances–being the second child (and being the second child…
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Triskaidekaphobia
At a very young age we’re taught about the significance of certain symbols around us. We expose preschoolers to the alphabet by focusing on the first letter in their name (S was my favourite letter for a really long time as a kid). We teach toddlers about numbers by focusing on their age. When you ask a toddler “how old are you?” that little baby face–that doesn’t know anything about quantity or numbers–will proudly offer a few fingers to you and reply, “I’m three.” We teach kids that letters and numbers have personal associations before they have actual meaning. When I was little, I didn’t care if an “S” said…
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The “holiday” thing
I’m not very good at the “holiday” thing. Autism doesn’t allow me to take many holidays. If I’m going to take a break from life (for a few hours or days) the number one requirement has to be that I’m by myself. Maybe with another adult like Steve or a good friend. Far away from home. With no kids. Family holidays are never holidays for parents—moms especially. Family holidays for autism families are never, NEVER, holidays for anyone—parents or kids. A lot of times you’re in a place away from home, with lots of other people who are unfamiliar with your needs or schedule, who are all off of their…
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Why I’m thankful for autism
As we head into the American Thanksgiving weekend, I’ve been thinking about all of the things in my life I’ve been grateful for. And I’ll be honest. Autism doesn’t rank on the top of my list. But I made myself sit down and really think about the things that autism has made me grateful for, and there really are so many things that I appreciate about it. So here are 10 thing’s I’ve come up with–and accompanying pictures. It always has me thinking outside of the box. When J was born, I knew I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom until my kids went to school because I wanted to…
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Some weeks…
Funny not funny story. Last week and a half has been a little rough. And as I started to write this blog post, I started thinking, hey…last year–at this exact very time–was rough. Last year J had an epic meltdown the day after election day. In fact, he got kicked out of school and I had to bring him home early. And then I remembered, hey…when did I write that post about being in the mid-semester slump? 2 years ago at around this exact time. Guess what happened this week? any guesses? J got kicked out of school for behaviour this Thursday. At this point, I’ve determined he’s an unpredictable predictable…
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Reinventing Halloween
Last year was J’s last year as a trick-or-treater. It was kind of a rough realization, at least for me, because after all the years of J struggling with Halloween (because of his autism), all of those years to try to get him to learn all of the social rules and nuances of going to a stranger’s house and saying a random, empty phrase (who ever does a trick for their candy?–and since when is it socially acceptable for a kid to demand candy from a stranger?), all those years of learning that some strangers will let you pick out of the bowl and others will think you’re rude if…
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The helpers
Every time there’s some sort of tragedy or catastrophe happening in the world, I see that Mr. Rodgers meme pop up on the Internet. I’m sure you’ve seen it too: Mr. Rogers in a shirt and tie, with his classic Mr. Rodgers sweater and smile with the words: “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” It’s got me thinking that we must be living in some sort of catastrophic lifestyle, because our family is the recipient of great generosity from so many helpers every single…
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The blessing and curse of a long weekend
Four days, a birthday party, a grandma in town, a walk in the woods, and a final XC meet. It’s been a busy fall break. I worry about weekends like this and trying to make sure the balance for J is right in all of it. Sometimes we get it wrong. Sometimes we get it right. I think this time we mostly got it right. I think we assume teenagers are a lot like us adults, that they can just go with the flow and handle that balance of weaving between their busy lives of work (homework in their case), extracurricular, and downtime in a fair and balanced way. I…
