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Full Catastrophe Living
The turn of events this week are all because of one teeny tiny mistake. I thought J would picture this week in the exact same way as I pictured this week. I do this sometimes. I remove me and J from the world for a little bit, we work hard on hard things together, and then I expect us to end up at some better place I’ve created in my mind. I’m not shooting for the stars or anything. Just a small, positive change. One step forward instead of three steps back. That’s all. No Disney inspirational movie making plot here. I’m just looking for baby step progress. This is how I saw this week and…
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Where’s the Smart Boy’s Guide?
Emotions and middle school are such an awful combination–for parents and kids. W had the bulk of her frustrations at the beginning of this year. Understanding social drama is hard at this age. I looked online for resources for middle school girls and emotions, and not only did books come up for parents, but there were dozens of resources for middle school girls. I ordered three books from the American Girl Smart Girl’s Guide series: A Smart Girl’s Guide to Knowing What to Say, A Smart Girls Guide Drama, Rumors, and Secrets, and A Smart Girls’ Guide Friendship Troubles. I was SO impressed with all of them. “How to compromise with your parents and teachers. What to do…
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Making Pictures out of Words
One of J’s biggest academic struggles is with reading comprehension. In the beginning he was a fabulous reader. He could sound out words and burn through the early reader books because he’s good at individual words. He loves to figure out how they work together and what the rules are for putting them together. He’s always been a kid who wants to know the rules. (As I’m typing this I’m wondering if we should be reading poetry with this boy to help him build those images and other sensory experiences with words…) There was even a time where he was obsessed with synonyms, antonyms, and homophones. Especially the homophones. He just thought…
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Learning How to Learn
It’s taken the second semester of grade 7 to feel like I’m finally understanding how to reinforce what J’s learning at school at home. I feel like we’re starting to get a good system going with J’s paras and teachers in how to modify assignments, tests, and practice assignments that will help J learn the best. J’s strengths lie in memorization, and he does really well with flashcards (homemade ones or through Quizlet. Are you familiar with Quizlet? It’s a wonderful free little app that lets you practice through flashcards, matching, definitions, etc). He’s funny with the memorization though. You give him a map of Africa and he can…
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Life Lately
When J was little I treated his life and experiences as a recovery. I was going to make him better. I knew there was no cure for autism and that because of the complex nature of the neurological disorder there might not ever be one. But I was on a mission to make as many of his symptoms disappear as I could. I was going to make him as non-autistic as possible. I was going to fix him. I cringe when I think about the perspective I had. I would like to think I’m independent and strong and noble, that I see the injustices of discrimination in the world and I stand up for “the…
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Adaptations and Modifications
It’s been about a month since J’s IEP meeting and I’m really excited about some of the ideas the team came up with. I guess that’s what happens when you get over a dozen people in a room to discuss J. The hard thing about J is that there is no academic setting he really fits into. J is what I call “middle autistic.” If you think of a line graph where “low functioning” is on one side and “high functioning” is on the other, I would put J smack dab in the middle. So where do you put an “in the middle of the spectrum kid” in the public school setting? He would be…
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That Physical Piece
Growing up, I remember an old man with a toque and big boxing glove mittens, jogging down the sidewalk along Riverbend Road in the dead of winter. Shirtless. Each year I’d watch him as we drove by in our warm car just shocked–and amazed, thinking that this had to be the year he caught pneumonia and died. My parents would just shake their heads in unbelief as they watched him too. But even though we thought he was crazy, we really, really admired him. We didn’t really know why he did what he did every winter, but we knew he must have some sort of iron will–some incredible motivation to do it. I…
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Prepping for an IEP
J’s IEP is coming up this week. It’s something I’ve been doing for as long as I can remember. I have binders full of Assessments, Evaluations, Re-Evaluations, Progress Reports, IFSPs (an IEP for kids under 3), IEPS (an Individual Education Program once a child turns 3),and behavioral assessments. I even have copies of “my rights” as a parent of a child with disabilities from three different states. I can’t imagine what it would be like to be a parent without all of these binders. To just send your kids off to school and collect report cards a couple of times a year. Over the years, I’ve learned some things…
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This Mid-Semester Slump
This past week was sort of a bummer week for my middle school kiddos. After two months of working really hard, J started up with some disruptive behaviors at school again. We still aren’t sure why; we’re still trying to figure that out. His principal, teachers, paras, and Steve and I have tried to pool ideas of what it might be. Have there been any changes in routine? Could his mouth be bothering him? (he gnaws cankers into his cheeks and lip like nobody’s business) Could it be daylight savings? (I swear it’s dark by 5 here in Fargo) We’re coming up on the holidays (and once again a change…
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Little Changes and a Step Closer to Empathy
Fall is in full force here in Fargo. J insists that our fridge is stocked with chilled cider and that every morning starts with hot chocolate chip muffins. He has set ideas about these things. I insist that J looks for the changes in the trees as we walk to the high school for XC practice. Fall is by far the best reminder for me that little changes happen every day. The way that the tops of a maple catch crimson one day and in a few more days the fiery red has spread to the next tier of branches and then the next week a new tier catches fire.…
