autism
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Reflections on choices
Steve and I wanted at least three kids when we were first married. But J came a long and when I was about 6 months pregnant with W, we realized that J was having developmental issues. I don’t remember much of my pregnancy with W –those womb “connection” moments lying still, trying to feel her hiccups and kicks, trying to anticipate her little personality and all of those expectant mother things–because most of the time I was trying to drag a tantruming toddler off the floor–in parking lots, grocery stores, across the apartment. Any spot was a good spot for a meltdown. And then a month before W was born, my…
- autism, Education, home strategies, learning strategies, middle school, modifications, special education, strategies, study skills
Golden moments
Living with the autism experience is a day to day, moment to moment event. There are moments of really hard, heart crushing experiences. Days where you feel like no one understands your child or your circumstances. And then there are the days where there’s a leap of understanding—your child finally understands something you’ve been working months on, or someone reaches out to your child—those golden moments. When I’m having those crappy days, I try to remember that this experience changes so drastically from day to day, that really, anything is possible. One thing that’s been hard for me to figure out in this whole middle school experience is how to…
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The Academy
When J was almost 4, Steve and I decided we’d sign him up for an “All Sports” class. It was a class through the Lawrence, Kansas park district that let young kiddos try out “all the sports.” At that point, we knew J had developmental issues. He was in early intervention, receiving speech and OT, we knew he was on the spectrum, we were just on waiting lists with developmental pediatricians, pediatric neurologists, and the like to find out exactly where. That first session we lead J into a carpeted common room there were multiple stations scattered all around. I don’t remember all of them, to be honest. I remember…
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On books, emotions, and the human condition
While I was in Canada last week, my aunt and I spent some time pursuing Chapters, a bookstore library chain similar to Barnes and Noble. As a mom of a child with autism, I’m always curious to see what books are out there for autism, like how many shelves in the Parenting section are dedicated to autism. Sometimes I wander through the children’s book section to see how many books are written for “typical” children explaining to them what a child with special needs looks like (there are very rarely any of those types of books out on display). One thing I find really strange, is that we don’t have books for…
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What’s for breakfast now?
J stopped eating quesadillas for breakfast two weeks ago, and that’s sort of a problem, because I thought we had something going for us again. For as long as I can remember, J has had issues with breakfast. Normally, J isn’t a fussy eater–which is sort of atypical for autism. Many times kids with autism have very narrow food preferences which often relates to sensory issues (they can’t stand the smell or texture of the food so therefore they won’t eat it, or sometimes the flavour is too spicy or too sweet or too intense for them to handle). But J, for the most part, really doesn’t have a problem with…
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A little Christmas story
Hope you all had a Merry Christmas and are enjoying a lovely holiday season! I just thought I’d take a moment and post one of my favourite little stories of kindness we’ve experienced in the week or two leading up to the holiday. J has been a champ when it comes to his first season of winter running. Most of December has been pretty cold, and despite the wind, snow, and sometimes single digit temps (or below -15C), J’s done a good job sticking through it all. I’ve said this before–running is one of the greatest life lessons out there, and one of those lessons i that you keep running…
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Retrofitting
We live in a house that was built in the late 1960s. I love it. I love the neighbourhood we live in. I love that our house isn’t a cookie cutter bi-level or rambler like most of the new-builds in Fargo. I love that (even though it was built in the late 60s) the “bones” and materials of the house are solid. I love the mature trees and the large yards and how close we are to the Red River (but high enough on the floodplain to still stay dry in the spring). There’s lots to love about our little house. It’s when we’re trying to make it “our own” or…
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“Maturing” and these moments now
Winter has decided to visit Fargo and settle in for a while. Tuesday we had a blizzard watch and while NDSU got out out at 2pm, J and W still had school until the normal release time. The one schedule change for the kids came later that night–J and W were both supposed to have their choir concerts that night but because of weather conditions, all after school activities were cancelled and the concerts were postponed until Thursday later that week. Surprisingly, J was okay with that. Lately, J seems to be able to roll with things like everyone else. I’m always asking myself “why” when it comes to J,…
- autism, creativity, cross-country, exercise, home strategies, learning strategies, reading comprehension, strategies
Rehabilitation–or just “habilitation”
Sometimes I feel like J has been in rehab almost every day of his life, except that instead of relearning skills he once had, J has never had the skills. Like all the skills. Sometimes I feel like it’s just one big, impossible task. NOTHING is intuitive with J. There are some days where I feel like I am literally programming a human like I would be programming a computer. Every little skill, every little nuance has to be first modeled before he can learn it. Which makes it feel like the biggest task on the planet. It’s also why I feel really, really grateful for the people who send me little…
- autism, Education, helps, home strategies, learning strategies, reading comprehension, sensory processing, strategies
Back to Basics
Because of my recent observations while working with J, I’ve been seeing examples of J’s processing issues in real time. One of this week’s highlights of auditory processing flubs was when we were discussing the new Disney movie Moana. I don’t remember exactly what we were talking about, but we were making up scenarios and one of them involved W and Moana. All of a sudden J said frantically, “W shouldn’t use marijuana!” J really paid attention in health last year, and was really concerned with what he “heard.” This is a perfect example of some of the many processing issues J is dealing happening at once. He failed to…
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