middle school
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Reconciling the Present with the Future
I think it’s almost impossible as a parent with a special needs child to not be constantly thinking about the future. I’ve been guilty a million times over. I’ve kept a running list of potential professions for J since he was 5. -At 5 I thought he might have a potential career as a mail carrier. He created mental maps and physical maps of the neighborhood constantly, complete with Christmas lights, basketball hoops, and flags. The only big hang-up was dogs. At that time, J was terrified of dogs. -I’ve gone back and forth on the idea of a grocery store bagger or even cashier. It’s a low skill job, and…
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Adaptations and Modifications
It’s been about a month since J’s IEP meeting and I’m really excited about some of the ideas the team came up with. I guess that’s what happens when you get over a dozen people in a room to discuss J. The hard thing about J is that there is no academic setting he really fits into. J is what I call “middle autistic.” If you think of a line graph where “low functioning” is on one side and “high functioning” is on the other, I would put J smack dab in the middle. So where do you put an “in the middle of the spectrum kid” in the public school setting? He would be…
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Evolution of the Choir Concert
I’m holding my breath–ready to pass out–because we’re so close to the finish line but I can’t quite declare that we’re in the clear yet. At noon today, I announced to Steve that we had just passed the twilight zone hour (if J’s going to have a catastrophic meltdown at school it’s almost guaranteed to happen during the 11:00am-12:00 pm) and that we have one more day to go. We just need J to hold it together for one more day and then we can officially declare victory for the semester. I don’t know why, but Christmas time has always been hard for J. Someone at church told me once that she…
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Prepping for an IEP
J’s IEP is coming up this week. It’s something I’ve been doing for as long as I can remember. I have binders full of Assessments, Evaluations, Re-Evaluations, Progress Reports, IFSPs (an IEP for kids under 3), IEPS (an Individual Education Program once a child turns 3),and behavioral assessments. I even have copies of “my rights” as a parent of a child with disabilities from three different states. I can’t imagine what it would be like to be a parent without all of these binders. To just send your kids off to school and collect report cards a couple of times a year. Over the years, I’ve learned some things…
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This Mid-Semester Slump
This past week was sort of a bummer week for my middle school kiddos. After two months of working really hard, J started up with some disruptive behaviors at school again. We still aren’t sure why; we’re still trying to figure that out. His principal, teachers, paras, and Steve and I have tried to pool ideas of what it might be. Have there been any changes in routine? Could his mouth be bothering him? (he gnaws cankers into his cheeks and lip like nobody’s business) Could it be daylight savings? (I swear it’s dark by 5 here in Fargo) We’re coming up on the holidays (and once again a change…
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Staying Inside the Lines
I feel like when you’re doing the autism gig, you’re constantly keeping your kid within the lines, corralling them into the spaces society creates. There’s personal boundaries, ethical boundaries, social boundaries. As a society I think that’s how we make sense of the world. Autistic kids are always seeking these lines and laws and boundaries too. Except they have their own lines and boundaries and many times they don’t match up with everyone else’s. Of course, “staying inside the figurative lines” has always been sort of an enigma to J. Figurative lines are more nuanced. You can’t see someone’s personal bubble–and everybody’s is different. You can tell a joke but sometimes it backfires…
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Two Days Off and the Cell Model Debacle
J had Thursday and Friday off last week (NDEA/NDU Teacher’s Convention for Fargo Public Schools). J also had a “first draft” of his 3-D cell model for science class due Monday. I had a flight to New Jersey Friday afternoon to visit a friend from grad school, so Thursday I did a frantic brainstorm for ideas. Pintrest had some good ones, but they were all “edible” versions of the 3-D cell–something J’s teacher had specifically the class NOT do on the rubric. I looked online for more ideas (because, let’s be honest, whether your kid’s autistic or not, projects like these tend to end up really being parent projects with some kid…
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Little Changes and a Step Closer to Empathy
Fall is in full force here in Fargo. J insists that our fridge is stocked with chilled cider and that every morning starts with hot chocolate chip muffins. He has set ideas about these things. I insist that J looks for the changes in the trees as we walk to the high school for XC practice. Fall is by far the best reminder for me that little changes happen every day. The way that the tops of a maple catch crimson one day and in a few more days the fiery red has spread to the next tier of branches and then the next week a new tier catches fire.…
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Ape Brains and the Middle School Boy
Because we walk after school from the middle school to the high school every day, I’m getting a refresher of what the real middle school population looks like. Not the one that you see in the halls, following school rules, responsibly exchanging books from their lockers to be prepared for the next class. The population who is headed home from a long day of school, letting out that bottled energy, true colors showing. The pushing, shoving, jeering, girl flirting kind of middle school population. More specifically, the ape-brain middle school boy population. Like the kid who pushes 30 miles an hour on his moped, circling the block a few times to impress the girls…
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My $64,000 Question
It’s the third day back into school and I’m exhausted. Some of it has to do with my wrestle with the Neti pot and the lack of sleep I got last night due to allergies, but most of it has to do with the emotional up and downs of starting a brand new school year with a middle schooler with autism. You think I’d learn this by now, being a somewhat seasoned adult (right?), but I’m constantly forgetting transitions happen all the time. I think most of us think of the big transitions: weddings, baby births, high school graduation, empty nesting, retirement, etc, but I know I’m forgetting the ones that seem to…
