family
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Some are born great
This week has been W’s week. W was “crowned” student of the week at her middle school (not really crowned–just a free t-shirt and vouchers for Buffalo Wild Wings), performed in a select orchestra concert Thursday night, and received 1st place in the music composition category in the PTA Reflections contest (again). A trifecta of achievement. The line from Shakespeare’s play Twelfth Night came to my mind this week as we bustled through all of W’s events: “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.” In some ways W falls under all three categories. I’ve always felt like she’s been my miracle baby since day…
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Childhood and hometowns
Every time I go back to Lethbridge, Alberta, I have this strange nostalgic feeling of “coming home” which is strange, because the last time I lived in Alberta was almost twenty years ago and my real home was 6 hours north in Edmonton. My parents have moved a few times from the place we first “landed” in the US and so every time I “come home” to visit them, I visit them in a place I’ve never lived before, in unfamiliar neighbourhoods that have now become familiar through grocery store landmarks (like the Dillons) or my heavy reliance on street names. I think that’s part of the reason why Lethbridge…
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What’s for breakfast now?
J stopped eating quesadillas for breakfast two weeks ago, and that’s sort of a problem, because I thought we had something going for us again. For as long as I can remember, J has had issues with breakfast. Normally, J isn’t a fussy eater–which is sort of atypical for autism. Many times kids with autism have very narrow food preferences which often relates to sensory issues (they can’t stand the smell or texture of the food so therefore they won’t eat it, or sometimes the flavour is too spicy or too sweet or too intense for them to handle). But J, for the most part, really doesn’t have a problem with…
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A little Christmas story
Hope you all had a Merry Christmas and are enjoying a lovely holiday season! I just thought I’d take a moment and post one of my favourite little stories of kindness we’ve experienced in the week or two leading up to the holiday. J has been a champ when it comes to his first season of winter running. Most of December has been pretty cold, and despite the wind, snow, and sometimes single digit temps (or below -15C), J’s done a good job sticking through it all. I’ve said this before–running is one of the greatest life lessons out there, and one of those lessons i that you keep running…
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“Maturing” and these moments now
Winter has decided to visit Fargo and settle in for a while. Tuesday we had a blizzard watch and while NDSU got out out at 2pm, J and W still had school until the normal release time. The one schedule change for the kids came later that night–J and W were both supposed to have their choir concerts that night but because of weather conditions, all after school activities were cancelled and the concerts were postponed until Thursday later that week. Surprisingly, J was okay with that. Lately, J seems to be able to roll with things like everyone else. I’m always asking myself “why” when it comes to J,…
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How sci-fi and Seal got us through the week
Every November I have the chance to do the single mom gig while Steve travels to an academic conference for a few days. It sounds strange, but I kinda like that short time when Steve’s away. Sure, the getting-kids-to-school/homework battle is no fun solo, but conference week means not having to make real dinner and feeding the kids quesadillas and cereal. I get to have free reign over Netflix and can eat the whole Ben and Jerry’s without having to share. It means I can write or curl up with a book while the kids are in bed and not feel guilty about not interacting with anyone else for hours.…
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First Day of School Take 2
Back in the saddle
The world has to stop spinning first
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W’s turn
Most of the time my life is consumed with J. I go to bed thinking about J. I wake up thinking about J. In the throws of summer most daytime hours are spent with J. J and I get up and run, we work on math, we work on reading. We talk about managing anxiety outside of meltdowns, I coach him through the anxiety meltdowns as they happen. I’m his one-on-one tutor, psychologist, and coach. Almost every waking minute. All while W floats in the periphery, taking care of herself, spending time reading in her room or outside with the neighbor kids. Sometimes she’s tinkering with Legos, sometimes she writes stories. Since she is so independent,…
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Where we are now
A few weeks ago, J was getting his vitals measured by the nurse at Dr. R’s office and she announced: “He’s 5′ 4 1/2.” What? I thought. That can’t be right. I’m 5′ 4 1/2″. And then I realized that the nurse had let J keep his shoes on for his height measurement, because J was wearing his AFOs (ankle foot orthosis) and it’s always a hassle to take the AFOs and shoes off and then put them all back on again for a 60 second measurement. But still, J’s shoes plus AFOs probably add only an inch MAX to his height. For the rest of the day I couldn’t help but realize…
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All My Babies’ Mamas
Mother’s Day is coming up this weekend and all I can think about is all of the women in my life who have helped me “mom.” The beautiful, strong, intelligent women in my village that do all the things for my children and who be all the things for my children that I can’t be. I think of all the women that have been vital to my survival and as I look through our photo albums I realize I hardly have any pictures of any of them. J has had literally dozens and dozens of moms that have come in and out of his life. Mothers I will never be…
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Bittersweet Moments
My sister reminds me all the time that W’s my freebee. The one I don’t really have to worry about. The easy one. W’s patient, kind, smart, and motivated. She’s naturally a good kid. She’s only 11, and she’s an old soul in many ways. Being a special needs sibling has shaped a lot of who she is. She’s responsible by necessity. She’s been forced to be organized because I’m often busy organizing J’s life. She’s the child who I can always count on. Unlike J, I know exactly how to relate with W. In many ways her brain works in the same way as mine. But as we venture deeper…
