autism
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Glitches vs Emergencies
When the week started, I knew what this post was going to be about. It was going to be about the unexpected things–things for which J has a hard time deciphering the best appropriate reaction. Because of J’s severe anxiety, his brain registers all “unexpected and disruptive things” as something worthy of an emergency type response (aka meltdown). Last week I wrote about how that gets better over time–and it definitely has. But this week had some unexpected and disruptive elements to it that J didn’t appreciate, (and didn’t always respond to in the best way). Still, he’s had worse responses, and we did finish the week with some…
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Back in the saddle
Our first full week of school is sandwiched between a two day week and a three day week. It used to drive my crazy–this short start, full start, short start schedule. Why couldn’t we just start the school year after Labour Day, like our friends across the river in Minnesota? When J was younger, the spotty school days at the beginning of the year would mess with his poor little routine-seeking autism/anxiety nervous brain. Having just a taste of the new routine only for it to be taken away again for a few days, only then to have a full week, and then a short week when transitions were hard…
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One year later
This is where we are, one year later. J is into the first five minutes into his first XC race for the season. He’s in a good mood. Minutes before the race I remind him that he needs to run as fast as he can (which I know he doesn’t know what that is yet) to keep up with the pack. Because we all know it’s no fun to start a race from behind. And although he’s near the back of the pack, seconds after the gun goes off, he’s not trailing the pack like he has done every other race he’s run. He sticks with the pack, and as…
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Autism is my rabbit hole
My cousin’s wedding couldn’t have come at a better time. There are these moments, as an autism mom, where I need to just leave. I need to leave Steve, W, and J. I need to leave the high levels of stress (akin to cortisol levels of combat soldiers) that raising an autistic teen triggers and go far away because I need to remember who I am again. Autism is my Wonderland rabbit hole. I’ve talked to my sister-in-law about this before (she also has a kid with autism) and she has the same sentiments. Unlike other forms of disability, there’s no known “threshold” for kids with autism. No one knows what…
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Your best is the best
When we came back from our family trip back in July, J was struggling to get back into his running grove. It wasn’t that J didn’t want to run. The runs were just hard. Some of those summer running practices near the end of July were rough. J’s body was physically fine. His legs were strong, his lungs were strong, and he wasn’t battling any injuries. But running is one of those things that if you miss too many workouts it takes a few workouts until you feel like you’re back to where you were, and being inconsistent (and even missing) morning runs on our two week holiday set J…
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To stim or not to stim
One of the first things I noticed when J was a toddler was the quirky behaviour. J liked to play games–spinning games. He liked to spin coasters, spin plastic plates, any sort of disc he could find, he would bring the disc to me and beg me to spin it. He LOVED it. He’d giggle and beg for more. He would also do this thing when we were outside, and run to the corner of our little town home in Illinois, tilt and close one eye, staring down the corner of the side of the house and run back. He’d run back and forth, giggling the whole time. I had…
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The Virtues of Algebra
J’s academic strength has always been math. It has been his “language”—the one he has always understood the best ever since he was a toddler. Math is predictable, math is rote calculation, math is fact families. It’s predictable. 3X4 always equals 12. He has always been phenomenal at it. And then came Algebra in middle school math, and all of a sudden, J was no longer good at math. This type of math requires decisions. You need to look at an equation and decide what like terms need to be combined. You need to be able to look at the equation and figure out how to get x by itself.…
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There’s no place like home
As a little girl, my parents, sister, and I would pack into the ’88 Toyota Camry (a luxury car compared to our early 80’s Chevrolet Citation) and drive 2 days across Canada (or the “American Way”–hovering just under the 49th parallel) to get to Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario to visit my grandparents and two sets of aunts, uncles, and cousins for a few weeks. My sister and I enjoyed every moment of it (even the middle of Saskatchewan/North Dakota parts–and who would ever guess that one day I’d end up living in North Dakota?). We couldn’t get enough enough of our cousins and grandparents. After all, we only saw them…
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Road trippin’
For the last two weeks, our little Beck family has travelled through South Dakota, Colorado, Wyoming, Utah, Idaho, and Montana. A lot of states and a lot of hours in the car together. It’s really been two types of trips–a “one-big-grandparents-and-cousins-on-both-sides-of-the-family” kind of trip and a “little nuclear family” trip. A decent part of the trip been a J, W, Steve, and Sarah. The total hour of time spent in the car tallied up to around 32 hours. That’s a decent chunk of confined family time. Everyone asked us how the “road trip” time together went. My kids have always been great road trippers. W always finds something to occupy…
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Band of brothers
“We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he to-day that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother;” Sometimes I feel like this little bit of King Henry’s St Crispin’s Day Speech (Shakespeare’s Henry V) could be an epigraph for the story of this little Beck family. Not that any of us will ever be household names. Or fight in an epic war front. No one will be revering us for bravery every year. But living with autism has definitely made our family become a “band of brothers.” It really does feel like we’re this small group of people experiencing life in the trenches in a…
