Still so much to learn
Steve and I attended J’s XC recognition last night. It’s hard to believe next year will be his last one.
I feel like every week that passes takes us faster and faster to his graduation day. I have so many mixed feelings about that. J has built such a great network of supportive adults and friends who have all been so very important in his life. I know these adults and friends will always love and support J post graduation, but life goes on and his friends will find their own track as adults and the adults in his life will continue the roles they have in helping other kids on their journey. At the same time, they physical school building is such a hard place for J to be on a daily basis. He has so much anxiety throughout the day. He spends a lot of brain power trying to keep himself in line. It’s hard to learn when you’re stressed out like that all the time.
We’ve started to research and meet with people for that “post graduation” piece. A few weeks ago, we met with someone from Developmental Disabilities (under the North Dakota Department of Human Services) and set up the paperwork process with a case manager to get J qualified for the services offered there. It was kind of a whirlwind experience. There’s such a spectrum of services available. For example, residential services could include a “residential facility for individuals who need 24-hour care that is licensed as a certified health care facility,” “adult foster care,” and “homemaker” (help for individuals who live alone that includes non-personal care tasks, such as house cleaning, laundry, and/or meal preparation tasks in the home.” Day and Employment Services include anything from day rehabilitation (daily scheduled activities in a non-residential setting. Kind of like the early intervention services J took part in when he was preschool age) to individual employment support (which provides long-term ongoing support to assist individuals to perform in a work setting).
I guess I saw a lot of what this spectrum of services looks like when I attended the Vocational Training Center open house last week. While I waited to meet with the program manager for the C.R.E.A.T.E program (which I was there to learn about), someone gave me a tour of the building. I walked through each of the rooms which showcased the spectrum of activities for a spectrum of adults with such varying abilities. There was a an adult sensory room off of a larger room full of activities (much like a special education classroom) with card games and a computer lab for personal use, couches and a large TV, a craft centre (not really the place for J) But then we toured the job centres where adults could participate in tasks such as untangling, stacking, and sorting wire hangers to using electric saws to cut out wood pieces for furniture companies (once again, I’m not sure if that’s the right job for J either. I’m sure I’d cut off my hand doing those things, and I know J doesn’t have the attention span to do that job safely either). I was really starting to get discouraged. J isn’t going to fit very well in any of those settings.
Then I sat down to meet with the program manager of C.R.E.A.T.E. He explained their job training support program which trains individuals to work in jobs in the community through an internship program. They do their best to place individuals in their areas of interest. They provide training for essential work skills such as how to interview, how to make small talk, teamwork, etc. Then they slowly introduce the individual in the work setting by having them work a few hours a week until they work up to 25 hours a week. At the end of the internship, employers can decide if they want to hire the individual. This sounds possible for J, but I also think J has a lot of growing to do before then to make this option a reality. The program is for kids who are 18-28 years old (still a year away to qualify) but it still seems like J has lots of maturing to do…maybe a few years after graduation?
J also has the option to continue education through Fargo Public Schools until he’s 21. He would attend a campus for adult learning, and we could construct his IEP there to fit his needs.
Even though graduation is a year and a half away, it still seems like J is emotionally so far away from that…ugh…
It’s that conundrum we’ve always had: J has always straddled the special ed world and the “normal one.” I had a conversation with J’s weight class teacher about a month ago and we were talking about how the class was going. When I asked his teacher how he thought J was fitting he said, “I think he’s in the right spot. Adaptive PE isn’t the right fit for him. WE just have to modify a lot of things because of where he’s at.”
And that, my friends, is the situation for every aspect of J’s life. He just doesn’t have a “spot” so we’re always custom making spots for him.
So as I struggle to navigate the future J, I’m still navigating the present J. Here was my learning modification this weekend. J has a quiz coming up in weight training where he has to label muscles. We tried writing out definitions (abdominal=tummy) to going into the basement to lift weights to talk about which muscles he’s using to looking in the mirror and touching muscles as I call them out.
The best method so far? Writing the names of his muscles on the muscles.
We still have so much to learn before the next life step. I guess I’ll try my best to be present with the now and prepare (but not freak out too much) about the near future.
