autism,  COVID life,  high school,  track

The Comfort of Normal

Ready to go (J is 5th from the left)

This Thursday was J’s first track meet of the year. It was blustery and cold. And absolutely wonderful.

It was the closest I’ve felt to “normal” since March 2020. Even more “normal” than the XC meets of 2020. J rode the bus to the meet. Hung out at camp, ran his 1600, ordered from the concession stand.

I know we’re not normal yet. We’re nowhere close to normal. We’ve got vaccines and we’re getting close, but it also feels like we’re on the cusp of the fourth wave. I know that at any moment things can change again. I know there’s still a risk someone in our family could come down with COVID–that we could unknowingly be asymptomatic carriers. But with our family almost fully vaccinated, I do feel a little safer doing these “normal” things. Mentally, I need to feel a little safer doing “normal” things.

This week I’ve been thinking about how much I’ve missed the small normal comforts. I’ve found myself gravitating to those ASMR videos on YouTube of rain gently falling down outside a coffee shop or outdoor cafe. The sounds of a crackling fire at a library. I’ll have those sounds playing in the background while I work from home, in the same spots I’ve occupied for the last 390 or whatever days in my house. I’m not a writer that hangs out at the library or at coffee shops all day every day. It’s a once in a while event. And now I’m really craving it. The soft chatter of voices in the background. The ting of a cash register drawer opening. The sounds of a barista shuffling around. The sounds of someone tapping on a keyboard.

When we were at the track meet, I got to have those sorts of small comforts again. People around me (spaced out, of course) on the bleachers, huddled together with their families, chatting together, jumping up in the stands to cheer their kid on in a race. I’ve missed those things.

I’ve missed seeing J line up at the start of a race, watching athletes (from our team and others) help him find his place on the line. Hearing teammates and strangers cheer him on. Watching coaches from other schools give him fist bumps when he comes trailing in at last place, saying “great job, J!”

It’s comforting that after a year, those things are still there. That J miraculously remembered to fall in at the right time to the inside lane. That he remembered all 4 laps. That he fell right in the middle of his average 1600 metre race time after being away for a year. It’s comforting that normal might be easier to fall back in than I thought.

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3 Comments

  • Jennifer Phillips

    Good to see the Beck family is coming out slowly on the other side! Who would think a running track could look so beautiful?

  • Jennifer Phillips

    Glad to see the Beck family is coming out fine on the other side of this crazy year so far. This year has not been calming for anybody’s anxiety issues, but at least we can breathe in a little deeper now.

    Who would think a running track could look so beautiful?!