• autism,  medication

    The Well Child

    At the two year well child visit, J threw an epic tantrum in the examination room. I was alternating rocking W’s car seat with my foot while trying to wrangle J at the same time. Our Illinois pediatrician slipped out of the examination room and returned quietly with a photocopied piece of paper that looked like it was taken from 10-year-old medical textbook. “It’s some information about tantrums,” she said with a tentative smile. “Read through it. It’ll give you some tips.” I did a quick scan in the parking lot when I had the kids immobilized and secure in their car seats, both of them screaming at the top…

  • anxiety,  sensory processing

    Navigating the Dissonance

      Sometimes I feel like I’m doing a dance, always trying to find connections with J’s world and our world. So he can participate in our world. So I can make sense of his world and make it a little better. One thing I’m constantly trying to expose him to is pop culture—so he knows what kids are talking about at school. It’s like being required to learn all that Greek Mythology in school before you can talk about literature in the upper English classes. If you don’t know the reference of “the Midas touch,” you have no idea what anyone’s talking about. If you don’t know who Darth Vader,…

  • anxiety,  mental health,  middle school

    Evolution of the Choir Concert

    I’m holding my breath–ready to pass out–because we’re so close to the finish line but I can’t quite declare that we’re in the clear yet. At noon today, I announced to Steve that we had just passed the twilight zone hour (if J’s going to have a catastrophic meltdown at school it’s almost guaranteed to happen during the 11:00am-12:00 pm) and that we have one more day to go. We just need J to hold it together for one more day and then we can officially declare victory for the semester. I don’t know why, but Christmas time has always been hard for J. Someone at church told me once that she…

    Comments Off on Evolution of the Choir Concert
  • anxiety,  home strategies

    What we remember (and how we teach our children about the world)

    Bringing J to an awareness of the world–especially grown up things always makes me a little nervous. J’s brain is a steel trap for memories–especially memories that carry any pain or anxiety. J remembers things like back when he was in grade two, where the lunch ladies burnt the school pizza and set off the fire alarm while he was at gym, causing a (minor) evacuation. That was the 89th day of school and he won’t let that go. And every year since we hold our breath, cross our fingers, and go through all sorts of rituals to make it through the day when the 89th day of school rolls through. There’s a myriad…

    Comments Off on What we remember (and how we teach our children about the world)
  • anxiety,  home strategies

    That Time at the Dentist

    Thursday we took the whole family to the dentist and it was hard. Really hard. But not necessarily in the way you might think. J had the first appointment. We did this because we knew this was going to be hard. But we also knew that J had been a few times before, and we know that with J, the more times he does something, the better he’ll do. He’s been to a few cleanings before. He never makes it to the end, but usually the hygienist can get a little something done before he squirms to much or takes a full on anxiety attack. Thursday went okay–at least us…

  • anxiety,  family,  travel

    Room 404 and the Women’s World Cup

    We’ll start with room 404, because everyone loves a good hotel story. There’s something about being transient, staying overnight in a strange room where other people have slept just hours before you. Newsmagazines like 20/20 like to go in and investigate with black lights all of the horrors that lie in the bed sheets, walls, and bathrooms. For some reason we like to be thrilled and terrified by hotel rooms. Growing up, my family had a lot of road trips, and the highlight of every road trip for me and my sister was staying in motels. We loved the creepiness of them. We loved to freak each other out with the “did you…

    Comments Off on Room 404 and the Women’s World Cup