The Messy Art of Parenting Autism

Adventures with autism, musings on parenting, and seeing the world in a new way

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  • School Front
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  • autism,  COVID life,  cross-country,  high school

    Faking it so everyone makes it

    August 24, 2020 /

    When I woke up for my long run on Saturday, I checked the weather on my phone. It was 22 Celsius (yes, I have my phone set to Celsius because that’s the only way I can understand temperature–that’s 71 Fahrenheit for everyone else) and 90 percent humidity. NINETY. I was supposed to run 14 miles that morning at mostly marathon pace. I got to mile 7 at a decent pace, but the weather was so brutal that at mile 8 the workout changed suddenly from “marathon pace” to “just do what it takes to make it back home.” I ran to mile 13. Walked the last mile in my socks…

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    sarahwbeck 0 Comments

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    Little Changes and a Step Closer to Empathy

    October 12, 2015

    An Unexpected Week

    February 4, 2019

    A Life Outside of Autism

    September 17, 2018
  • autism,  COVID life,  family,  high school,  milestones,  motherhood,  travel

    We have been preparing 17 years for this

    August 17, 2020 /

    One thing I’ve learned about this COVID-19 world we live in is that every small decision–decisions that you would never think twice about–you end up mulling over and over in your brain until it becomes a simmering stew of anxiety. In the beginning a lot of those decisions revolved around groceries. Toilet paper is gone, what should we be stocking up on that might be disappear off the shelves for the next 3 months? How often should we be going to the grocery store? Should we go every other week instead of every week? When should we go to the grocery store? Is it more crowded in the morning, afternoon,…

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    Glitches vs Emergencies

    September 11, 2017

    Sarah Beck: amateur translator

    November 25, 2019

    My kids get more than 17 seconds

    October 22, 2018
  • anxiety,  autism,  COVID life,  medication,  mental health

    Sertraline

    July 13, 2020 /

    Take the syringe, watch the calibration carefully as you pull the clear, bitter liquid out from the bottle. That bitterness is why you need lemonade. Orange juice works too. The acidity will offset the bitterness. Wipe the bottle clean before you place it back in the cupboard. Any medication that spills along the sides will be sticky. J is 5 when we start this regiment, hoping that the sertraline prescription will do enough to keep his anxiety and OCD-like symptoms manageable. We were nervous to start. Anti-anxiety medication for a five year old? But the anxiety is debelitating for him. We feel like we don’t have any other choice. “Don’t…

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    Glitches vs Emergencies

    September 11, 2017

    Sometimes you don’t deserve a Gatorade

    April 1, 2019

    Let’s talk behaviours

    May 8, 2017
  • anxiety,  COVID life,  motherhood

    Did I go through hell for nothing?

    June 29, 2020 /

    One week ago was Father’s Day. Instead of the immense sadness I thought I’d be feeling over the loss of my dad, I was angry. Like raging angry. I haven’t been this angry in a very long time. I’ve been slowly realizing that COVID and my dad’s passing have been and will be forever intertwined, and because we’re still experiencing the effects of the COVID pandemic, I feel like I am still stuck–no stalled–in the grieving process. I’m still waiting to be physically with my family, so we can cry and hold each other like we should have been able to do at my dad’s funeral. Instead, the closure of…

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    sarahwbeck 3 Comments

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    Doing the same things and expecting different results

    October 17, 2016

    The world keeps changing every 2 hours

    March 16, 2020

    Glitches vs Emergencies

    September 11, 2017
  • autism,  COVID life,  motherhood,  special education

    We are living a privileged autism experience

    June 8, 2020 /

    After the events of George Floyd, I feel like our little life events this month have been trivial in the importance of the national dialogue about race and privilege in North America (and across the world) and so I feel like maybe this week’s post should focus on more important voices that need to be heard that haven’t been heard. What I would like to do with this post is recognize our privilege as a white autism experience and share some voices and experiences of people of colour, specifically people of colour with autism. It’s an area of inequality that I should be more aware of, and I’m embarrassed to…

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    The last seven days

    December 31, 2018

    Trying to protect my kids’ sanity

    September 9, 2019

    Butterfly Endings

    December 16, 2019
  • anxiety,  autism,  COVID life,  high school,  mental health,  special education

    COVID Rules

    May 12, 2020 /

    Monday morning, J and I sit in front of his school-issued laptop while we chat with his special ed teacher, para, and speech therapist in our little “small talk” session and suddenly J bursts into a complete meltdown. Not just meltdown–I’m pretty sure it’s a panic attack because there’s hyperventilation and big ugly-cry sobs. We try to keep him on camera to help talk him through it–to assure him that things will not just be fine, things will be great, but he can’t do it and he needs to leave the room. It’s a very big reaction to (what we thought) was a pretty benign question: When is quarantine over?…

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    2020

    January 6, 2020

    Your best is the best

    August 14, 2017

    “Maturing” and these moments now

    December 12, 2016
  • COVID life,  exercise,  motherhood

    Normal right now

    May 4, 2020 /

    In four days our Colorado quarantine will be over. We will finally be able to leave our house. Go get groceries. Take the dog for a walk. Go for a run–oh how I’m aching to run outside! I ran 9 miles on the treadmill Saturday. I’m aching to run outside. In four days life will be back to normal again. Ha! Normal. I feel so lost right now looking for “normal.” Normal is an absurd paradox. Normal right now means having virtual school be the grounding point in the day when you’re in Colorado because it’s the only thing that ties your kids to a routine because things are so…

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    First Day of School Take 2

    April 6, 2020

    The world keeps changing every 2 hours

    March 16, 2020

    Life Skills

    November 30, 2020
  • COVID life,  family

    To grieve behind a mask

    April 21, 2020 /

    My father passed away Friday, April 10 2020. My faith has always sustained me through the hard times in my life. And I know it will sustain me through this moment in my life. But death and grief are inseparable companions and a pandemic brings a kind of grief I have never before experienced. My mother and I are the only members of our family living in the United States. My sister and her family live Saudi Arabia and my extended family lives in Canada and no one can leave their homes because the international borders are closed. I buy a ticket to Denver the night I find out my…

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    sarahwbeck 4 Comments

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    First Day of School Take 2

    April 6, 2020

    J won XC

    October 12, 2020

    Did I go through hell for nothing?

    June 29, 2020
  • autism,  COVID life,  high school,  home strategies,  IEP,  motherhood,  special education

    First Day of School Take 2

    April 6, 2020 /

    Wednesday Fargo Public Schools started their first day of school thanks to COVID-19. It seems like everyone I know across the US and across the ocean (in Saudi Arabia) has already been participating in virtual school for at least a week or two already. In general, I feel like North Dakota has been a few weeks behind everyone on everything COVID related (probably because we fall 47 out of 50 in population size in the United States). And that’s okay. I (personally) need that extra time to mental prepare for all the changes that are happening, and I appreciate watching and learning from everyone else who has started the “new…

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    Golden moments

    January 30, 2017

    Family is family no matter where you are

    July 2, 2018

    Still behind, but still moving forward

    April 22, 2019
  • anxiety,  COVID life,  mental health,  motherhood

    Yes, we are blessed. And yes, we are struggling.

    March 30, 2020 /

    I don’t know what day of quarantine we’re on without looking at a calendar. Time feels so different right now. The days kind of blur into each other, but at the same time they’re so different. Some days I wake up motivated, I’m on top of things (as in interacting with my kids so they’re on screens for 5 hours instead of say, 6 that day). Some days I wake up and it’s a struggle–sometimes with my kids and Steve, sometimes just with myself. It’s like I wake up every morning to a new Sarah Beck and I have to figure out what the new head space looks like for…

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    Thoughts from the treadmill

    February 11, 2020

    COVID Rules

    May 12, 2020

    A Tale of Two Meets

    September 10, 2018
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