The Messy Art of Parenting Autism

Adventures with autism, musings on parenting, and seeing the world in a new way

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  • autism,  COVID life,  cross-country,  high school,  middle school,  teen years

    J won XC

    October 12, 2020 /

    J ran his last XC race of his life on Friday, and I’m feeling all the feelings. I started this blog a few months before J started his XC career. It’s not a blog about J and XC, but running has become an enormous part of J’s life since he started XC back in 2015, and so there’s a lot of XC in this blog. Over the last hour or so, I’ve been scrolling through all of the XC posts, getting teary-eyed while at the the same time astounded at what has happened in the last six years. I feel like this brief summary doesn’t come even close to the…

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    The 10K Gamble and Learning to Trust J

    May 22, 2017

    The stories we tell ourselves

    May 13, 2019

    A little Christmas story

    December 27, 2016
  • anxiety,  autism,  Early Intervention,  Education,  high school,  mental health,  middle school,  modifications,  special education

    Violence in the Classroom: From an Autism Mom’s Point of View

    May 6, 2019 /

    Violence in the classroom has become a really big issue. In Fargo, it’s been in the paper and on the news. And it’s something that’s been happening across the country. Here’s a news clip from a Utah TV station: This is a topic I have really struggled with over the last few years. I have a son who sometimes does those things. I have a daughter who witnesses those things in her classroom or in the hallway. I have teacher friends. My mum was a teacher. I’m a teacher (I’ve taught at the university level as an adjunct and at the preschool, elementary, middle, and high school levels as a…

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    The “holiday” thing

    November 27, 2017

    Triskaidekaphobia

    December 4, 2017

    The Restaurant Deal

    February 5, 2018
  • anxiety,  high school,  mental health,  middle school

    Sabre-toothed Tigers

    February 26, 2018 /

    I’ve debated over and over again how to talk to my kids about school shootings. I’ve had short, infrequent, conversations with my daughter, who at this point, is totally unfazed by them. She tells me that she knows what to do–hide in place, fight back, almost with a defiant composure. She’s pretty confident in her self-preservation skills. I let her keep that confidence, even though, as demonstrated by February 14th’s events, when a school follows these procedures to a T, 17 people still die. Dozens are injured. I don’t tell her the emperor has no clothes. False confidence is better than no faith. And how do we talk to my…

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    Just relax and shake out

    August 31, 2020

    Triskaidekaphobia

    December 4, 2017

    Hanging up the cape

    November 7, 2016
  • autism,  high school,  medication,  middle school,  teen years

    Let’s talk autism and puberty

    October 9, 2017 /

    This is me in grade 9. In the throws of puberty I didn’t know how awkward I really was and so that probably explains why I was somehow still confident enough to like myself (most of the time). I had no fashion sense. I had glasses, although I only wore them when I absolutely had to because those things definitely made me feel ugly. I didn’t wear makeup. In fact it was the end of grade 10 when my mom suggested to me that I might enjoy a makeover at Merle Norman. Puberty has got to be the most awful, emotionally and physically, confusing time in which everyone on the…

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    sarahwbeck 2 Comments

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    Leaps of Faith

    April 23, 2018

    On Re-Finding Your People

    June 26, 2018

    Doing the same things and expecting different results

    October 17, 2016
  • autism,  Education,  home strategies,  math,  middle school,  modifications,  strategies,  study skills

    The Virtues of Algebra

    July 31, 2017 /

    J’s academic strength has always been math. It has been his “language”—the one he has always understood the best ever since he was a toddler.  Math is predictable, math is rote calculation, math is fact families. It’s predictable. 3X4 always equals 12. He has always been phenomenal at it. And then came Algebra in middle school math, and all of a sudden, J was no longer good at math. This type of math requires decisions. You need to look at an equation and decide what like terms need to be combined. You need to be able to look at the equation and figure out how to get x by itself.…

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    Little-big things

    March 26, 2018

    No, he’s not like Sheldon, Max, or Sam

    September 25, 2017

    The power of mindfulness

    June 13, 2016
  • autism,  family,  middle school,  motherhood,  siblings and autism,  teen years,  track

    A little track family

    May 29, 2017 /

    W wasn’t so sure if she wanted to join track this season. She had reasons. I think the biggest reason was the one she didn’t bring up when we all sat down at dinner and talked about it. J and I had gone to the first practice that afternoon, but W had decided to stay home. I told her that everyone had asked me where she was, and told everyone that she was still thinking about coming out. “I don’t know, I’m busy,” she said. “And I really liked XC. Track just isn’t the same.” (This is coming from the girl who has never tried track before). “You can do both,”…

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    Let’s play a game

    April 29, 2019

    Ohana means family

    July 23, 2018

    Rattle and Hum

    January 7, 2019
  • autism,  cross-country,  exercise,  family,  middle school,  motherhood,  track

    The 10K Gamble and Learning to Trust J

    May 22, 2017 /

    The Fargo Marathon is a pretty big deal around here. It’s a Boston Qualifier, and a really appealing one at that (Fargo is a really REALLY flat course and the weather is usually decent). There are races all week long for whatever floats your boat: dog runs, kid runs, the 5K and then marathon day which includes the 10K, half marathon, marathon relay, and marathon. The city gets really into it. The neighbourhoods do too–live bands play music to help rally the runners, people bring out orange slices to you, there are posters everywhere and hundreds of perfect strangers are cheering you on. It’s a really cool experience. This year my…

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    Character development

    October 24, 2016

    18

    October 5, 2020

    Rehabilitation–or just “habilitation”

    December 5, 2016
  • anxiety,  autism,  helps,  home strategies,  mental health,  middle school,  strategies

    Let’s talk behaviours

    May 8, 2017 /

    J got sent home for behaviours on Thursday. For those of you keeping track, yes, J has been sent home twice in two weeks for behaviour at school. So let’s talk behaviours–since this is part and parcel with autism. I think the term “behaviours” is such a funny term to use with kids on the spectrum. I remember one time in elementary school J announcing at the dinner table that he had a behaviour at school and he seemed almost confused by it. “Behaviours” in autism speak means any (or a combination) of the following: scratching, kicking, biting, hitting, pushing, shoving, destruction to someone’s property, destruction to oneself, etc–a euphemism for bad…

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    The Uneaten Bowl of Spaghettios

    January 27, 2020

    Where do we go from here?

    October 10, 2016

    New York Trip Part 1: If we can make it there, we’ll make it anywhere

    March 18, 2019
  • autism,  mental health,  middle school,  track

    Knowing how much to push

    April 24, 2017 /

    All week, J’s been really sick. I don’t know what it’s like for other kids with autism, but when J gets sick, it never knocks him out. When most of us just want to veg out and watch movies and sleep all day and check out when we get a sore throat, runny nose, and a cough that just won’t stop, J will still wake up at 6 am, still wander around the house looking for things to do, still want to be entertained, all while still feeling miserable. It’s really, really strange. Not even illness can seem to knock down autism and all of its obsessions, habits, and idiosyncrasies. In…

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    Always Let Steve Take Care of AP Bio

    October 27, 2020

    Back in the saddle

    September 4, 2017

    Sarah Beck: amateur translator

    November 25, 2019
  • autism,  middle school,  milestones,  motherhood,  social skills,  teen years,  track

    One year later

    April 10, 2017 /

    One year later and here we are again, the first track meet of the season! I was a hot, anxious mess at last year’s first meet. We had tried in every single way to prepare J for his first race. From the sound of the gun, to practicing a few times on the track, to schedule strategies we had thought of everything. And still, I wasn’t sure we were going to make it through that first track meet. J was a ball of anxiety himself that first meet. And not everything went exactly as planned (the gun didn’t go off TWICE!). But J made it. He ran the entire race,…

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    Looking Back, Looking Forward

    December 30, 2019

    Back in the saddle

    September 4, 2017

    The four year plan

    January 29, 2018
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